From the start of my career, one thing became clear: the higher managers climbed, the more they rose in management, the more they thought they had to know everything—because after all, they were managers. But knowing and thinking are not the same.
It’s like when we were kids. The adults thought they were pulling the wool over our eyes, but we knew exactly what was going on. I remember my teen years in New York, a time of constant violence. The principal called an assembly to announce that the police were looking for whoever was selling weapons at our school. We found it strange because most of us already knew exactly who was selling them.
Management Disconnect
Shifting back to my early career, the disconnect between management and the frontline became glaringly obvious. On the ground, we had two jobs: the job that needed to be done, and the job management thought needed to be done. As I moved up the ladder, the disconnect was magnified. I recall a head of Human Resources, quick to dismiss mistakes by blaming the workers’ lack of intelligence, never management caused confusion.
But I did meet one manager, Frank, the GM of a private club where I worked. He had been trained at the now-defunct Magic Pan restaurant chain. The training he shared was fantastic. What I learned from Frank set me on a path to understanding what truly works in managing.
I stumbled a lot, fell back into less effective habits, got my butt kicked more times than I’d like to admit, and had to crawl back with humility. It took time—and plenty of mistakes—before I finally learned to knock myself down a few rungs and remember that those who do the work are the true experts in their surroundings.
The disconnect isn’t inevitable, but it’s common when everyone is judged by their latest results. This short-term focus often makes managers less effective than they could be. Yes, I met managers who don’t see not knowing as a weakness, but they were the minority. Most followed what they’d seen or had done to them, without questioning it.
A high-powered consultant once shared his secret with me: before meeting with executives, he spends a few days with the workers on the loading docks. I did the same—observed, listened, and then relayed what I learned to the executives. It never failed.
Dressing up Management to Sell Consulting
In the midst of these experiences, I’ve often found myself struck by terms like “Emotional Intelligence” or “Servant Leadership.” While I respect the intentions behind them, I can’t help but feel they make things overly complicated—perhaps consciously, to sell as a product. True leadership, to me, isn’t about adopting the latest buzzwords but about keeping it real—genuinely connecting with the people who do the work, understanding their realities, and helping them succeed.